Thalassophobia

Thalassophobia

Lily S.

Thalassophobia 

I’ve always been scared of the ocean

Like how cats are afraid of water,

I’ve avoided it like the plague

The neverending landscape of blue, 

The habitat of millions of creatures-

It terrifies me.

So much so that

When I would go on a field trip to the beach

I would panic

And hide in a crowd of people

Sitting at a picnic table

Where I felt safe.

And although my friends 

Were seen splashing around and having fun,

When I would step near I was blocked

By that mental caution tape telling me

Don’t go there.

But my friends are there, I try to say,

But I still won’t let myself pass.

And it’s not because of the fish

Or the probability of

Being eaten by a shark

I’m just scared that

I’ll go too far

(Like how I have a habit of)

And be drifting off

Into that endless space of blue

And no one will come and save me.

Because nobody knows what could be out there,

And if there’s one thing about humanity,

It’s that we’re terrified of the unknown.

So eventually the loneliness would

Force me down

And into my lungs

While I stay there,

Paralyzed,

Knowing what is inevitable.

Or maybe,

It’s just my human instincts

Telling me not to go into the unknown.

But it’s not like the dark,

Because in the dark

I know that there’ll always be a flashlight to guide you,

Or a hand to hold

But in the big, blue sea

You have no idea what’s out there

Or how far it goes or

How deep it goes or

If somebody will come and save you

Or drag you underneath the surface

For there is no safe spot

No floor to touch

No hand to hold

Or buoy to hang on to

Because I need that type of security

I need a bottom to touch

I need a ground to stand on

Because if I don’t,

I might as well just

Float out

Into the unknown sea

Forever

And ever

alone